When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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