She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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