i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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