Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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