Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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