In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.