there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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