Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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