is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.