I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.