Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap