I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
