I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
