What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
