This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
where does the pee come out of this thing
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
