I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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