i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
