Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
