Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
