Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
