her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
