I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
