He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sober January is a disaster.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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