Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
