That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
