Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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