I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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