You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
