dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
