Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think i have herpe
just one?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
