I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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