I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
