I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
