i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
