Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
