If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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