i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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