What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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