my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
