I must be too annoying 4 u.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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