I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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