Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
