i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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