At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
