so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
