so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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