it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
