i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
