I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
