She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
