I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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