I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just had sex on a roof
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize