Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
