my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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