Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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