you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
