my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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