I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
