Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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