I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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