he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize