fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
