Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
