no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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