just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
