I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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