Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
someone owes me an orgasm
This house was built for laser tag.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
