You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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