And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
