yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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