Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
