I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
