i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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